Well it has been ages since I last posted. Actually, that’s the whole point.
WARNING: This is a spontaneous and unedited post. If you don’t like strange, sleepy humour or incoherent rambling, I’m sorry. I really am.
So, I am a great, big stress-head. Stressing is something that I excel at. The great Academy of Anxiety has my portrait hanging in the foyer and giant marble statues erected in my honour. The south wing of the library is named after me. Etcetera. etcetera.
After a particularly heinous day today, I have learnt a few things. Well . . . I guess I have been reminded of a few important things that tend to fly right out of my pretty little head on a regular basis.
Number 1: I don’t think I want to be a video journalist. Technology hates me. I knew that and still, I tried! And boy did that bitch smack me in the face!
I apologise technology. I’ll stay away from now on. Just don’t hurt me anymore.
P.S. Future Kate, if you are a successful video journalist – kudos. I don’t think I want to know what you sacrificed on the altar of the technology gods to swing that one. But I’m hoping it was my mobile phone because damn, how did I manage to pick the dumbest smart-phone on the market?
Number 2: The worst thing that can happen is never that bad
I believe I may have mentioned that I am a pro stresser. Well, the biggest, baddest weapon in my anxiety tool kit is catastrophizing. I think a lot of my fellow worriers will know this one. Everything is going to be a disaster. You’re doomed, you’re screwed, your world is falling apart at the seams. Your head is spinning, your heart is pounding, you want to cry. It’s all too hard. Why not just throw in the towel?
It’s a strange thing, but I think this behaviour is actually very addictive. Once you get going you don’t really want to stop. I guess it’s because while you’re freaking out you are delaying actually facing the problem and putting in effort into fixing it. It’s a nasty habit and it needs to be kicked in the face ASAP. Even as I write this, I know I will probably indulge in it again in the not-too-distant future.
God, I miss the days when I didn’t worry about work. I don’t know what happened in between studying an hour before the exam and freaking out WHEN THERE IS ONLY FOUR WEEKS LEFT UNTIL THE MID-SEMS. When did I turn into Hermione Granger? Minus the all the awesome things about Hermione Granger of course. Come on, Kate.
But seriously, life goes on 99% of the time. There are always going to be hiccups and I need to learn to take them like the mature adult I supposedly am. Well that’s what the law says anyway. Nice one law.
Number 3: Chocolate is awesome. Screw being slender.
I really don’t think this needs any explanation. God bless that magical substance.
In conclusion, I hereby resolve to stress less and to take time to eat and to breathe and to enjoy the lovely people around me. Oh – and to write more often of course. Despite all this angst, I know that’s what I want to do with my life. You all have my permission to smack me in the face if I forget that.
Now I am off to find something completely unintellectual to do. Just try and stop me.